Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Johnny Appleseed

Johnny Appleseed needs from me something, but I am not at all sure what. He came to me when dad was dying and I went to the phone at the hospital to call an aunt because I heard that he was doing better and was full of hope. As I picked up the phone to place the call, I heard my mother's voice say the words, "Johnny Appleseed." It was her voice and she was deceased. She was giving me notice that she was aware what was happening. And my dad did pass away the next morning.

I will always remember that moment...there had been mention of "Johnny Appleseed" between my mother and I, and was also related to my father. Now what am I to do with this information that, in a joyful unfinished business sort of way, I feel it necessary to pursue, but what am I pursuing?

I should do some research. "Johnny Appleseed" lived where my husband works, in Leominster, MA. (or so the tale goes) They have "Johnny Appleseed" this 'n that up there. Maybe it's time to take a ride and see the area for myself.

It's too late to plant apple trees. Should I sell apple seeds? I remember loving the tale about him when I was a kid...but there is something hidden in this matter and I want to seek the answer out. I see a picture in my mind of him walking away from me wearing that pot on his head as if it were a ball cap! Good old "Johnny Appleseed." :) What do you want from me?

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

The White Path and Eyes of Gold

There once was a time when animals and humans spoke to each other. Now they kill each other. How does that fit in with creation? How does that work for each animal and human? There is a shame in both animals and humans when evil overcomes both. That is how the world turned from a home for all to live in harmony, to a world of love and hate. A world of places and things, and a world where secrets are kept to protect the innocence that is the truth. The sacred truth of Earth, the planet of love gone awry.

Today I see that beauty in truth of times passed. Gone are the times when the beast and the beauty of life are lived with respect. So weep, you know inside your heart that love isn't real, and that people don't really love one another but lie to protect the human order of life and death. The truth is that life is eternal. But we are all dying because this is the lie we were told when our elders programmed our hearts and minds. Death is only for the dead. Eternal life is for the angels and innocents who have traveled to Earth to one day gather the ones encoded by the Creator's gift of eternal life. They have the secrets in their souls, yes, animals, too. They have come to Earth to live in harmony with the ones encoded with true love in their hearts. They do not die. They are like those who are living for all eternity with special ones.

Gather your thoughts and go back to the time you incarnated into this life. Remember what you were to do here. When your life turns ugly, turn around and seek another route because you have taken a wrong step without realizing it. You will find the path you chose...the path you were intended to travel.

Listen to the light within. It speaks of truth and beauty. Among all the ugliness that you encounter, bring your eyes back to your soul because your soul knows and remembers who you truly are when you forget. This keeps you away from evil ones. If you must encounter those who dislike you because your light shines so bright that they must slaughter you to douse the glare from their eyes, wear a mask and hide your truth until they have gone. They cannot see your light shine brightly or you will bestow grief. Hide if you must. You are special and they see it and hate you for being who you are. So they beat you any way they can. Banish them from your space. Protect your secrets and your light by invoking your angels of protection and keepers of your light. Spend time every night thanking the Creator for His secrets and His love. Ask for strength to keep His truth safe. The time of endurance is nearing. Before the shadows of evil cast down on the place where you dwell on Earth, hold your heart and your light, to His light, and you will be free and you will be connected by the white path, the path of light and love. You are pure where your heart dwells. When people surround you with the shade of hate and jealousy, know that they are of the group of souls who will die. They are evil because the light did not shine on their soul at birth. When you look into the eyes of an animal who will never die, will be your soul showing you truth and light and love...eternity. When you greet a person and see they have eyes of gold, know that they will not die. They have love and light and truth and hold the same secrets as you. Eyes of gold. Angels select those with eyes of gold to protect.

Keep your hiding place forever safe and open your heart and love to those with eyes of gold and then you will be home. You will have tread upon the path of white light and this path is your way home.

(once in awhile I let Spirit take over, like this post. This is what I call "free-flowing" writing. No thoughts or thinking, just Spirit taking over the keyboard. This is one of those times)

Monday, May 16, 2011

It Began With An Email

Why does everything have to be so difficult?

It all began with an email I received 2 days ago from, Jack Goodman. In the subject read: Jack Goodman would like you to visit Winning Writers.com

It was sent: refsvr@referralblast.com. Sure it was. Everyone has a snoop dog watching everything you do and buy. I bought Jack Goodman's book on Amazon.com. That's all it took for some bot to take my information regarding that purchase and in 2 weeks I received the email that opened up yet another difficult situation. At least it's been difficult since yesterday!

I checked out Winning Writers and found that jack Goodman had written a poem that was critiqued. I read his poem and the critique and then joined Winning Writers to begin receiving their newsletter where Jack's poem was selected for the Feb. 2011 issue. So I thought, it must be a good thing if Jack joined, so I joined. This site is all about contests. I am signed up for their newsletter. I looked at the contests with no entry fees, and there are 150 available. The first was simple for me...a 5-7-5 poetry contest...Haiku yet not exactly. All contests were run by FanStory.com. So I composed the following immediately because there was only 1 day to post it. I thought about what image I wanted to create and thought of Rufus Wainwright in his Lulu outfit as I had received his book a few days ago, "A Day In the Life of Rufus Wainwright." All photos and little text. So this is what I came up with for my contest entry.

Touching piano keys

he creates instant alchemy

turning sound into gold.

Well, I posted that only to find there were so many other things I had to do...like setting up a page on Twitter or on a Ning Network! Choosing background and text colors, which I did, but the process wasn't easy, as to promote it I had to gain possession of "certificates!" I also had to name the poem, choose a photo, which I tried to do but I had to be a more advanced subscriber to do that! (and that cost $$$) This was the end for me. When I am made to jump through hoops to enter a simple contest, forget it! I was told that I had not posted anything, so I signed off and decided this was not for me!

This morning I had 4 emails from Fan Story, one telling me I had received feedback for my contest poem which I titled, "Rufus Becomes Merlin." I clicked on the link that was supposed to take me to the feedback, which I was anxious to read, but it took me to my profile and looked everywhere for "comments" but missed it, so I was frustrated to say the least! After going back and starting over, I found feedback by 2 members and my poem was listed as "excellent!" :) How nice that was. I thanked the 2 people for their feedback. I finally found my poem! It's only going to be posted for 2 more days and I'd better hurry and buy "certificates" so I can collect 30 reviews or it will not be considered for the contest. Wonderful. To receive points/cents? I either have to write reviews on others' work, or purchase outright! Aha!! There it is. That's how they make money....jerks. Nothing is simple...everyone is out for money...no one does anything except for the almighty dollar, and I am soooo tired of it.

Although I filled out a bit of information on my profile, I don't think I'll go back to Fan Story, and probably not back to Winning Writers because it's all going to be the same. If I want to write and share, I will do so on my blogs and web sites and through my art studio. If I want to have something published, I'll do what everyone else is doing and self-publish, period. It's way too late to promote myself by making a name, which is what people spend ten+ years doing. So, I have come back down to Earth and am content sharing my writings and my paintings via my blogs, web sites, and studio as I am doing now and have been doing for several years. There's too much competition and the economy is bad. Share what I have to offer in the way that is comfortable for me, and "come what may."

Monday, May 9, 2011

Tom's 3-Day Birthday Weekend

Hubby had a Happy 3-Day Birthday this weekend! Born May 7th, we celebrated Friday at Foxwoods playing some favorite slots. :) Tom wasn't lucky, but I had more success. We wanted to hit both casinos and visiting both in one afternoon is too much, so he took Friday off as a vacation day. Celebrated early with a Black Forest cake!

Saturday (birthday) morning he opened his gifts. I took pictures with my new digital camera but still haven't been to CVS to have anything processed...one of these days! He was happy with his new light jackets, shoes, and cords and jeans...card with scratch tickets - he won $10. We decided to go to Mohegan Sun Sunday and stay home Saturday because storms, possibly severe, were to develop in the afternoon, so we had a sports Saturday watching a baseball game, golf, and NASCAR at night.

Sunday we had breakfast and were on our way to Mohegan Sun. We stopped for muffins and coffee an Dunkin Donuts on the way to have a bit more on the tummy so we wouldn't get too hungry during the afternoon. Boy, it was slow and early there where we play. Had the whole row of machines to ourselves for awhile. I finally found 2 machines that started to pay and stuck with them the rest of the afternoon. Because the closest restrooms were closed for renovations and the next closest one was way to far away to keep walking to, we made our way to the high stakes room on the way out. That was fun...it kept us playing for quite awhile, but we left so we'd get home in time for Tom to get Chinese take-out. His favorite boneless chicken...and I had my favorite Buddha's Delight! Our Red Sox played both weekend afternoons and won! We watched a movie last night but I was tired....had a good night's sleep...overslept this morning but feel good and am glad all is back to normal, grocery shopping, errands, making supper, and TV at night...also having some new people powerwashing the house the end of the week getting it ready to paint.

It was a Happy and fun Birthday for Tom! :)

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Getting Caught Up ~ On Vacation

Now...what's been going on? Since Easter...the Royal Wedding was beautiful! There were some tears...choking up at moments...remembering Diana's wedding...then her funeral in the same place...her sons walking the same footsteps where her casket rested. The wedding was perfect, her gown was perfect, his uniform was gorgeous, and they made a beautiful couple. Unlike his father, he is in love with his bride, the way marriage should be.

Moving on...Terrorist #1 has been killed by our troops...Special Ops...Navy Seals...the best in the world...got the job done and rid the world of a large rat. Let's continue to rid the world of more rats that are looming in the wings for more opportunities to kill innocent people.

I am taking a vacation from Facebook. Just disabled my "wall" and left a message for friends there. I need some space...can't please everyone and I'm tired of dealing with so many personalities and don't want to have to worry about stepping on toes because people are sensitive to my words. So it's time to please just myself now. I'm going to stay in my pj's all day today and go about my business at home...won't answer the phone if it rings...I am tired of people right now.

I have already been through Hell trying to find a house painter! We need to have the front of the house painted, the back was done last fall and we didn't hear back from the painter about doing the front, so we called another painter. He didn't show up the 1st day he was to powerwash, I shut the house up so the cats wouldn't be frightened, and he was a "no show." He showed up the next day. Then I waited for him to finish powerwashing the following day and he didn't show up! I blew my top and had a conversation...I fired him! These contractors are so independent and inconsiderate that I thought about Tom and I painting the house ourselves, but there's too much work and heights we can't reach, so I called in answer to an ad in the Bargain Buyer and am meeting with a couple tomorrow about finishing the house. Keeping my fingers crossed that they will get the job done. Maybe dealing with a woman is the key. Ha...the kicker is that we got a late-night phone call from yet another painter that was to check out the job Monday who never called, so he thinks he's dropping by this afternoon...in the rain...because it's convenient for HIM! Think again...Tom is calling him today to tell him I am NOT available. We'll call him if we need him. So this and dealing with Facebook personalities (Europeans) is getting to me! So I disabled my wall and want some alone time...me and my keyboard...me and my paper and pen...me and my home and animals...and I will have my house painted by the right person. I will not be a doormat for anyone...anymore.

On the positive side...well, making the decision to be alone is a positive...and I had my hair trimmed yesterday and it looks great! Finally...got my hair on the right track again! :) And tomorrow I will wrap Tom's birthday presents for Saturday...and he's taking Friday off to take me to an appointment, then we're buying our flowers for the season. Saturday we're celebrating at Mohegan Sun...should be busy because the Kentucky Derby is on that afternoon! That means lots of play and jackpots!!! Looking forward to a good end of the week.

I am already enjoying my alone time. No one to please...no one to leave the house for...no one I have to talk to...until tomorrow, but after the house is painted, the new awnings up in a month, I can enjoy the rest of the summer cutting grass and watering flowers, and feeding birds and squirrels...and writing. I'm in the mood to write. I am also going to read...have several new books...and rearranged my Three Lights Sanctuary to suit myself. I have no signs in the windows...I am not opening to the public because they are not there. I'll be using my space for my paintings...and a place to write and paint or watch TV and have lunch...until I decide there's a reason to open to a public that may come around due to whatever may open in the old stove shop...it's still empty and for rent. It's a dead zone and has been for a year. And as for the case I'm renting in CT...I'm losing money there, too. There is little business so every one's suffering. I think May will be my last month there. If I want to lose money I'd rather lose it having fun at the casinos playing the slots!! This economy is crazy...I think it's time to let go of any idea of retail.

I think that is enough for now...I need to open up the basement and start feeding the cats. I may start a new blog...I'm thinking of doing some rhyming...maybe just some simple rhyming verse...whatever...who knows? We'll see.